Grateful

Today Bree had a fever of 101.5. In the past 7 months, had she had this high of a fever, we’d immediately be checked into the hospital and most likely be admitted for a bacterial infection or neutropenia (no white blood cells). This time it was due to an ear infection. An ear infection, I’ll take it!

We got to drive back home to our house, give her some medicine and I was able to put her to bed. No hospitals, no scares that she had a bacterial infection. No worry that she was in septic shock. It was a GREAT feeling.

Tonight as I rocked her to sleep, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander back to when she would spike a fever and I’d rush her off to the hospital. I remember my mind would be sick with worry, yet I had faith that she’d be okay, and I had great faith in the doctors and wonderful nurses that cared for her so much. I remember one of the times she spiked a fever of 102 and I had to rush out of the house, grab my emergency hospital bag and get to the hospital as fast as I could. I remember holding my sweet Bree so close to me as she shivered from the chills that the fever was giving her. As her fever rose to nearly 103, the nurses were rushing (although they were always calm) all around her, placing wires to her chest, setting up her IV fluids & starting her meds. I remember my mind wandering to this moment, the present time. I wanted so badly to be home, to let Bree rest in her bed and just to not be sick anymore. I wanted her to be free from wires, free from this sentence of always going back to the hospital and staying for days at a time…and now she is…FREE!

Tonight I feel very grateful. Grateful to a Heavenly Father that truly granted us a tender mercy when He showed us that Bree had black eyes. Without this sign, we would have never known she had cancer. It might have been another year or two before the tumor inside her tummy was found. And with her cancer (neuroblastoma), the older the child is when it’s found, the worse the outcome can be. I’ll always be grateful for those beautiful black eyes.

(A few weeks before she was diagnosed)

(The day after she was diagnosed)

(The day she started chemo)

So, I’m thankful for this moment, this time that we get to spend with Bree and with our entire family being together enjoying one another. I’m sure years from now when she’s a teenager and she’s driving Justin & I crazy, I will look back on these moments in time and feel grateful once again, that we have her, that she beat this cancer and that we can watch her grow into a beautiful young woman. I can’t wait.